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So ok before we start, there will be, for and against views on this subject! In case you don’t know, a gay sauna is like a spa only with extras. There are steam rooms, quiet rooms, movie rooms, saunas, Jacuzzi, maybe a cafe area, BUT there are also group or individual rooms, for gay men, if they choose to hook up with another guy or two. Many gay guys won’t/ don’t or wouldn’t go to one! But for many, they fill a need, a need for companionship, a need to be close to another man, in an intimate manner! Sure bisexual and even straight married men frequent them, this is their choice, NOT yours, imagine someone telling you, that you couldn’t go to a certain shop you like, or go to your favourite health spa! Yes sex occurs at gay saunas, it’s no secret, but what two or more, consenting adults choose to do, in their own time, is for them to decide, NOT YOU!
Many gay men on facebook moan about been single and never finding Mr Right, these guys also hate one night stands or casual sex! So this is ok for them! But other men have certain needs. Now don’t get me wrong, it is said, it is rare to find true love in a sauna, but I know a few couples, who have been together years and still in love, who met in a sauna. Gay saunas in Europe are very similar to gay saunas around the world, except unless you know the language, then it’s the international gesture game, and nodding or shaking of the head. Some saunas have a dark room or dungeon, now again these places, are not for everyone, but again, each to their own.
Consider the alternative, a gay couple, one of whom has such an urge, to go to a sauna, for an encounter! What are his options? Sex with a total stranger, in a public convenience? Or sex with friends? Or gay hook up sites, such as Tinder etc, etc. Some encounters, are fraught with danger, meeting someone they nothing about, at a meeting place, that they don’t know, will it be safe and who is going to be present? The media has many stories, of gay men meeting at such places, who are then attacked or even killed. Saunas have cameras at the door and maybe other places, so if a person becomes a threat etc, it is easy to resolve or call the police for assistance! Mind you, when the law are called, it is said, that a gay sauna, empties quicker than if a lorry load of skunks were let loose.
Of course, remaining faithful is the goal in any relationship, but sometimes, for whatever reasons, some gay men need an itch scratching, and it’s not up to you or me to judge! Judge lest you be judged yourself! It’s how it is handled afterwards; does the gay guy tell his partner? Risking a relationship? What about safe sex? What if he is putting the other person in danger or risk of infecting them, with an STI or worse! My advice, would be to run two scenarios through your mind, one telling the partner, what has occurred and one not! Then it is down to the individual, to make a decision, true it may end their relationship or it may not. Some couples have an open relationship, and even an open marriage! Other people in certain faiths, have more than one wife, some have many, so don’t be too quick to judge, especially as your relationship may not be perfect!
Whether you choose to go to a sauna or use a hook up site etc, always let a good friend know, ask them to ring you after an hour or so, and maybe use terms such as, no it’s in the green folder – meaning your ok, or it’s in the red folder – meaning they need help, keeping safe, is the biggest priority, as well as having regular checkups, at the sexual health clinics.
One bit of advice, you can ask a 1000 people, for their thoughts on you going to a gay sauna, for whatever reasons, but if you ask a varied slice of society, you might get an array of answers, THEN, weigh up the answers, think things through, and remember it is your life, yes you may have a partner to consider too, but it is your life! If I had listened to all the advice about being gay, I would have probably cut my penis off and joined a nunnery! Did I NO, so stop beating yourself up about being gay and dealing with everything we go through, sex is sex, making love is making love, and everything in between. What matters in the end, is happiness and being content, with who you are, and if saunas are your thing, then safely enjoy them.