I remember dressing up as a nun when I was around 8, it just felt like my natural place. I wasn’t particularly religious, I just liked the idea. Somehow, something inside me was telling me that there was no other space I would fit. I grew up on Disney and soap operas and even though I dressed as princesses and loved the heroes, I never wished for the same “happy ending” they had, never thought much of it, I just didn’t – at best I wanted to be Jackie Chan.
Often I’ve been told that life must be easy for me as a bisexual woman. That I’m too privileged to have any complaints. That I’m too busy sitting on a high unicorn on a parapet made of the sufferings of my rainbow kin because I am attracted to people of the different gender. Apparently my lot have no troubles at all to keep us down.
It’s hard to accept you are queer after growing up seeing how isolating it is. This concept, I believe, is hard for someone who isn’t a part of the LGBTQ community to fully comprehend. Often we are told that being gay isn’t a conscious decision; however, this notion of being “born this way” can be taken less seriously than it exists to be.
In this essay I will not offend the readers sensibilities by asking them to consider an assertion without providing any evidence. It shall be on the reader to draw his or her own conclusions from the evidence that I provide. The first thing that you might wish to consider is why the Family Research Council is the subject of this essay written by a British man when the organisation is based in the United States of America. FRC came to my attention when a trusted friend informed me that its President, a man by the name of Tony Perkins, had been appointed to the U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom by recommendation of the United States Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.
Once again Pope Francis is rocking the world.
“God made you like this and loves you like this and I don’t care. The pope loves you like this. You have to be happy with who you are.” According to reports from Spain’s “El Pais” newspaper and the Associated Press Pope Francis said the abovementioned statement in a private conversation with Juan Carlos Cruz, who is gay and one of the Chilean sexual abuse survivors by a Catholic priest. Some LGBTQAI Catholics see Pope Francis pastoral moment with Cruz having dogma-transforming ramifications.
“Gay.” I can remember this term used to be something that rolled off my tongue as a kid, that’s before I understood what attraction was. A time that anything which seemed convenient to call gay would be announced as it. In year 5, the year before high school, I found this group of guys attractive for the first time. I didn’t place much significance on it at the time. Basically, for me primitive understanding of lust mixed with the innocence of just turning a teenager made me just get off over guys and think absolutely nothing about it – well nothing more than the task of satisfying sexual urges while fantasising about what allowed me to reach a state of gratification. Gay still didn’t mean anything more than something used to slag things off, I didn’t know it described me.
As i entered year 25 of my life, I was convinced I was going through a quarter life crisis. My world was falling apart, I felt hurt instead of happiness. I felt defeated, instead of empowered. I was ready to give up. I was ready to end everything, because I didn’t understand why my entire being was off balance. I couldn’t understand how I was giving so much love out to the universe, and not keeping any for myself. I couldn’t understand how with each passing day, I was losing a little more of me. I was changing rapidly, I was giving in to everything I was against. I was living with chains around soul and duct tape over my mouth. I was trapped…