Editor’s Note: The following submission is from Malik. Have an LGBTQ+ related experience or story to share? Having your article published on this site will automatically enrol you into a raffle to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card. Submit an article today via queerdeermedia.com.
I am Malik from Pakistan, I am gay and belongs to a conservative Muslim family I was 14 when I discover that I have no sexual attraction towards girls, my male cousins mostly asked me about my likeness in my female cousins however I always says no and they thinked that its because of shyness. Life was passing through peacefully but now as I get 23 years old now and my my parents are forcing me to get married with my cousin. As in my family cousin marriage is being done from 3generation.
I am not open to them as its considered as a taboo here however I tried to indirectly talk with them and they said its a curse by God Almighty and these floods,hurrican,and stroms cause by these kind of people as God giving them a warning to came on right path.
So, I am not out to them as I am afraid because if I tell them that I am gay they will lock me in to the house, take my phone from me and will do my marriage on spot. And send me to Islamic school to get rid of homosexuality. I am soo depressed and often thinks to attempt suicide but the only thing keep me alive is internet, whereI search regularly Google map, embessy websites, asylum related blogs and forum and LGBT organizations that I got some help to get out of here.
Now I am seeking the scholarship, volunteer work, or internships so, that I could convince my parents that I am going abroad on study visa and I will be back and do the marriage as soon as my study will be finished. As its the only option left for me.
I have tried to go to US embassy for asking about asylum but the guard said they only deal with visa interview and I came back helpless…
A friend of mine suggest me that somewebsited do crowd funding too I have tried Go-Fund me but it didn’t work in Pakistan.
So, that was my sad story if you know or have any resources, advice or suggession please tell me.