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At 52 Its so very strange looking back. Childrens homes, foster homes , broken family, alone at 16 , trouble with the law, oh and yes gay. I was in a rut back then until i decided to face “it” . I was out at 23 I wrote letters and left the small town of ilkley where i was never worthwhile.
It was time to do something with my life to become worthwhile . I know ill become a musical theatre star yes thats it ill be woryhwhile if i do that.drama school came and went my acting career came and went . Still feeling not worthwhile
How do i become and do something worthwhile how ?
Singing yes singing ill sing in manchester gay village at the hollywood showbar. No still not doing worthwhile . Thats where i met stuart and we embarked on becoming the greatest male duo to hit clubland . Long black cloaks yes this is it im relevent singing indie music . But alas not and alas not at all worthwhile.
Stuart decided to move abroad , i was 47 I could not possibly earn a living as a trendy singer at that age or could I ?.
I drew my plans and begged stuart to help me become a drag queen . I explained if i did drag it wouldnt matter how old i was . He agreed to do it as a one off . OMG perhaps this was it my worthwhile. First gig and we are on fire . Stuart is now not going abroad , hell no not after that recepetion .
1 year on and we are the toast of the working mens clubs circuit , we are the Victorians and we are going to audition for britains got talent . Oh yes we are and we have no idea of what is about to happen. OMG we are to perform for simon cowell , OMG we are sent through to the live semi finals . We are now bosom buddies and we are on fire . This is it my worthwhile. The gay scene will love us because we have taken a risk and bared our souls on tv . One year later we are not worthwhile at all in fact im quite sure the gay scene has simply passed us by because we do not fit . Its not my worthwhile afterall .
3 years later and we are performing in holiday parks for familys , we are a bonifide drag act who do not perform for the gay community . We once again take risks we face the same potentially hostile hetero sexual audiences as we faced in the working mans clubs .
I stand on stage and children stand at the edge of the stage , im 52 in make up and a dress and a moustache and 5 year old children begin to high five me , yes high five me like yes we are with you mr. WORTHWHILE WORTHWHILE I SHOUT IN MY HEAD . It has taken 5 year old children to make me realise im worthwhile