Growing up, I never knew what it meant to be LGBT+. I knew what “gay” meant, and I knew “lesbian,” but other terms didn’t come to my attention until I turned eleven.
It wasn’t until I was in my early fifties that I finally worked out that I was agender and asexual. Figuring out that I was asexual was the easier part of the equation. That really only required coming across knowledge of the orientation. But it still took me 45 years to get to that point, because it took me 45 years before I heard of asexuality.
First I thought I was bisexual, then gay, then transgender. I still believe the last but I will never know. I don’t resemble the opposite gender enough to live as one of them and surgery would not help. At all.
There is a lot of criticism towards the asexual community and the aromantic community for all the new terminology both communities put together. Most criticism centers around confusion and questions as to why these terms are a necessity.
This is what the youth are taught nowadays. That once they are older they will want sex and relationships. That everyone want and have sex and everyone wants a romantic relationship. And it’s mostly assumed that they will want a boy or a girl, depending on their gender, or what society presumes is their gender.
This is another issue not only asexuals face, but anyone who doesn’t want sex for whatever reason. And that is the “withholding sex” issue.
I’ve been thinking about writing this for quite a while now, but only now have I decided to do so. It may shed some light on what the life of a sex-repulsed ace is like. I hope it will help people to better understand us. And it may help someone else to find themselves, find that they are not alone, or help in some other way.