With soaring immigration movements of Asians to the U.S., up to 25.4% of Asian immigrants and Asian Americans have chosen to marry other ethnic groups. Also, a great number of researches and studies has done to discuses dynamics of transnational relationships in the U.S, aiming to address whiteness and English hegemony in their relationship outcomes. However, LGBTQ persons and their “lived experience” have been left out of the circle.
Today is a very special day for me. The date as I write this article is March 31st, 2020. As an LGBTQ+ person, there is a lot of purport in those numbers—but in my case it is not necessarily what you’d think. Yes, today is Transgender Day of Visibility. And yes, that plot point is relevant here. But the full story begins three vast years ago, in the early hours of March 31st, 2017…
Being gay in your teens is hard. Being gay in your 20s is complex. So, myself ten years ago thought that when I reached 30, my life would get kinda sorted much, much better. You would have time to hang out with a bunch of close friends; you go out and drink socially, listening to old bros’ predictable lame jokes. Life, in essence, would get simpler.
“Now class, let’s talk about LGBT rights,” Mr. Brady announces. He opens a PowerPoint presentation with a photo of Ellen DeGeneres waving a pride flag on the first slide. Whispers and murmurs erupt from the back of the room. “Would you care to tell us what’s so amusing?” Mr. Brady glares at a group of boys huddled around a single desk. They turn towards him and shake their heads. “Okay then. Shall we continue?” The boys nod and remain silent.
Four years ago a story of mine featured in Queer Stories called, “Coming Out. Not As Simple As It Seems.” In that story I held some punches, tried to describe my journey up to that point, and overall wanted to depict how coming out is not always self-actualising. However, time stops for no one, and as you get older you grow, your reflections become clearer — even if your eyesight doesn’t! I’d like to take an opportunity to elaborate on my story, show some resolutions, and express some reflections that I have gained in the four years since.